Poem

I found this poem on Nicol Sponberg's website. She lost her son to SIDS. Well said.

Please Be Gentle
By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?

Liam Charles 7-23-09

I plan on writing a more in-depth post of Liam's story later and posting some pictures. For now though, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been there for us through this experience. We know so many people have prayed for so many weeks with us. The Lord has decided that Liam was needed with Him in glory. We had a beautiful funeral service for him on Monday. Please pray for us as our hearts heal. I can't believe how much I miss him already. My heart will forever have a place for our precious son. I can't wait to hold him in heaven.

Precious Nataleigh Grace

In the midst of our pain and sorrow, God certainly knew what we needed yesterday. Thursday at 9:37 p.m., Nathan and Emileigh welcomed Nataleigh Grace into this world. Yesterday morning, Patrick and I decided that we needed to meet our very first niece. After having such a sorrow-filled day, I wasn't sure on how I would do emotionally with this situation. But we both fell in love with Nataleigh, and I praise the Lord for allowing us to be able to spend time with her, to hold her, and to behold His perfect timing for everything. I think He knew just what we needed yesterday. I was reminded of how precious life really is. I also felt a profound peace, that yes, we will have our time too one day. Patrick was teary-eyed as we left the hospital. He was just so joyous and happy for Nathan and Emileigh. At only weighing 5 lbs 13 oz. and 18 inches long, she is so tiny, yet she has already blessed us in so many ways. I feel honored to be her aunt.

not the best news

Just a quick update...I might go into details tomorrow. Our baby has developed more fluid, now all over---called hydrops. His mitral valve has a more severe leak than last month. I am just coming up to 28 weeks and they don't think that they can help him until he is at least 32 weeks. The odds are really against him. They told me that there is a great chance of him passing away soon. If we delivered him now, I would probably have to have a classical c-section. This would put me at risk in future pregnancies. Anyways, we talked with the doctors and weighed out the risks and benefits. For now, we will keep him inside of me and hope for a miracle. My motherly instincts want to do everything I can to see him survive. I want to deliver him now and have the doctors intervene as much as possible. But, after talking with the doctors and hearing Patrick's thoughts, we will just wait. I will be checked weekly by the specialist in Saginaw. Please pray with us...that he will keep fighting until 32 weeks, that we will completely trust in the Lord through this, and that us, along with the doctors, will have the wisdom to make the best decision for our baby and for me and my health. Thank you for your comments on here! With love--Megan

26 week bump

Getting bigger :)